Toronto Marlies hockey player Rich Clune’s continuous fight against addiction

“When your family can bend and not break. It really is amazing.”

– Matt Clune.

He loved when his mom would listen to Nancy Sinatra. He loved watching Friends with his two brothers on Thursday nights. He loved family dinner parties. And he loved the sound of a skate blade gliding against the ice beneath him.

He was a hero to his younger brother. A name you could drop to instantly garner more friends. And a talented young Toronto hockey player. But the strength Toronto Marlies forward Rich Clune possessed was only in its initial stages.

“I have this memory of saying to myself like ‘I’m going to need professional help one day,'” said Rich.

He grew up on the east side of Toronto where he played street hockey for hours with his two younger brothers and worked his skating skills on the outdoor rink at the Ted Reeve Community Arena.

Photos of his dad’s hockey career covered the walls of Rich’s childhood home and were always a subconscious reminder of his own dream: to become a professional hockey player. But around the age of 12, the pressure to become “something” became overwhelming.

“I got drunk the first time when I was 13,” said Rich. “That feeling I got from alcohol, it was like a warm blanket and I could comfort myself from basically everything.”

Rich said his fight with alcohol began at around 12-years-old. But the underlying reasons as to why the battle even needed to be fought started as early as 10. What’s more…he was entering a war blindly and in secret.

“We’re two sides of the same coin,” said Rich’s younger brother Matt Clune. “I should have recognized that.”

The three Clune brothers were what Rich calls, “one entity.” If you wanted one, you had to deal with all three.

“Rich left to chase his dream to play ice hockey, I think around age 15 or 16,” said Matt. “And that was really hard for me.”

When Rich returned in the summer, the two started training together as a way to make up for lost time. They had a system down pat. Wake up at 6 a.m., make breakfast, grab lunch, train and then party.

“He had a problem,” said Matt. “But like I said, [partying] was a way for us to kind of just be together and as the younger brother too, I was a little afraid to kind of speak up and say, ‘This isn’t healthy, this isn’t right.’ And just for a couple of those reasons our life kinda took that turn.”

As for Rich, he takes full responsibility for the choices he made and blames no one for not stepping in.

“It was hard to pull the plug on me,” said Rich. “I never missed a day of hockey … I could stay up all night and I’d show up at practice and I’d work hard. I’d play hungover.”

In 2005, Rich got drafted to the Dallas Stars.

“You could see it in his eyes, his passion,” said Stars assistant general manager Les Jackson. “He was pumped, he was so excited. It’s exciting when you get a kid like that and they get picked and it’s their dream to get to the NHL.”

Clune was traded to Los Angeles and eventually ended up in Nashville.

“He had a couple bumps along the way,” said Jackson. “We just liked his character, the way he worked, his grit.”

“I didn’t stress about openly drinking in front of people because it’s legal,” said Rich. “Whereas an illegal substance, like cocaine or ecstasy…. Those are illegal … So I definitely, like, wasn’t open about it.”

Rich went to rehab for the second time in 2010 and has been sober now for almost 10 years.

“It’s not like breaking an arm,” said Matt. “You don’t come out [of rehab] and it’s fixed. You really have to work at it all the time.”

And Rich does. Infact, he still battles with addiction.

“I can look at social media every 12 minutes. I’ve been addicted to my phone. I’ve had days where I have 10 cups of coffee … I could go into a gym for six hours a day until my legs fall off,” said Rich. “But I’m just trying to do my best.”

The recovery has not been a one man journey.

“Rich would go to the end of the world for his friends, for his teammates, for his family … he’s imperfect [and] he’s open about who he is,” said Matt. “He showed me he wasn’t afraid to be who he is and I shouldn’t be either.”

Rich is currently in his fourth season with the Toronto Marlies.

“Just because a hockey player has addiction, I don’t think it should … come as a surprise. Just because they’re perceived to have some sort of like mental toughness or willpower,” said Rich. “That’s that’s the problem … and that will probably keep a lot of hockey players silent in their addictions.”

It’s been constant lessons of self-discovery. But the persistence that made Rich stand out on the ice, shone off the ice as well.

“I could tell my younger self like, ‘OK, you’re going to be 13-years-old one day and you’re going to get wasted at your dad’s 40th birthday party and you’re going to wake up and you’re not going to be hungover and you’re going to perceive that alcohol is like your solution to all the problems that you’re going to deal with. But I just want you to know that eventually one day, you’re almost going to die on a number of occasions. You’re almost going to want to kill yourself and you’re going to go to rehab and you’re going to embarrass yourself,'” said Rich.

But he said, “I wouldn’t really tell my younger self-anything.”